It's Been a While...

So...I haven't actively written for this blog in a while. I have another blog (Sarcastic Thoughts on the Late Train) that sees more action, but this side is for my personal stuff.

Here's something big and personal:
My dad died on Tuesday, August 19, 2014.

He wasn't supposed to die, at least not in my opinion. Clearly, God had a different plan than the rest of us. It was completely sudden and unexpected. He wasn't sick. He was extremely healthy, in fact. When he turned 50, he started going to the doctor often. During one of his checkups, they found pre-cancerous cells that could have led to prostate cancer. Instead, he took aggressive action and beat the cancer before it could beat him. This last Christmas, he shared with the entire family that he was 100% clear of any cancer cells, and his doctor told him he was very healthy for a man his age.

So, then what the what?!? How does a healthy man, only 60 years old, just die? The electricity went out in his heart. It's that simple - cardiac arrest.  According to the American Heart Association, "Cardiac arrest is caused when the heart's electrical system malfunctions." It is not the same as a heart attack...he didn't have heart disease.

The medical professionals said he didn't suffer. Okay. Fine. But I still am having a very hard time understanding this.  I've used a private journal to write out the memories and the feelings, but now I am ready to announce to the blogging world that my dad died. And I am angry about it. I just don't get it. I'm not ready for my dad to gone. I wasn't finished with him.

I'm not ready to share all those other details about the visitation, seeing him for the first time, the funeral, or the other things that have happened since the moment I found out he died...maybe in time.

For now, the world just should know, James "Jim" Harvey Higham, age 60, died at home the afternoon of August 19, 2014. He is survived by his wife, his four children, three children-in-law, and five grandchildren, as well as two sisters, three brothers-in-law, one sister-in-law, two nieces, and one nephew. He is preceded in death by his parents and two grandchildren.

We all miss him greatly.

MY favorite Christmas Stories

So, I happen to know Santa Claus.  He's a pretty cool guy.  He's done some amazing things over the years, and I'd like to share some of them with you.

Kindergarten Christmas in Recovery:
This is not as bad as it sounds.  The year I was in kindergarten, I had tonsillitis.  A lot.  So, I had to have the darn things taken out.  Before Christmas break.  Before the holiday party.  In kindergarten.  I was bummed!  However, in the present exchange, the person who drew my name gave me a coloring book and crayons to have with me in the hospital during my recovery.  It was awesome.  I know that Santa had a hand in making sure my Christmas was wonderful that year.

Christmas in June:
Santa is around all the time, not just at Christmas. One year for my birthday in June, I had one of the most wonderful Christmas experiences a girl with a summer birthday could have – Christmas dinner in June. In Florida. In a restaurant decorated for Christmas all year long. It was a place called The Paw Paw Tree, and my grandfather Higham made a big to-do about it. I was smiling ear-to-ear the entire meal. We had turkey and ham and stuffing and mashed potatoes and pie and apple cider...it was amazing! Since I almost never spent a Christmas with Grandpa Higham, it was a true blessing. That was Santa’s way of reminding all of us that love of family is important.

Santa knows WHERE you are for Christmas:
Santa can find you if he needs to.  One year we were going to be traveling to Ohio to visit my grandparents, and we were worried that Santa wouldn't be able to get us our presents.  We wrote him a letter to let him know, and he came through!  While we were at Sunday School and Church the day before our trip, Santa dropped off our presents early so we could enjoy our family Christmas.

Similarly, another year, Santa managed to find us AT our grandparents' house.  He even managed to put out all the presents under the tree in the living room WHERE WE WERE SLEEPING. Amazing.


Santa sends you what you need, even if it is far away:
I was let go from a job, for the very first time in my life, on December 11, 2007.  I had just financed a vehicle and been proposed to in September that year.  I was planning a wedding, and a future, with JR, and I had no idea if any of it was going to work out.  I was devastated.  I talked with my family often during that time, and my kid brother, with whom I have always had (and will always have) a close, special, different relationship than my sisters, said he would drive up on Christmas day with his daughter Courtney so I could be with family at Christmas.  I was so touched, and excited, and weepy... It's quite a haul from NW Tennessee to Chicagoland...especially in December.  It was late and cold and dark when my brother called to let me know he was close by.  I talked him through the winding road back to my apartment, and I ran down the stairs to grab my brother and niece in a big hug.  What happened instead is pure Christmas magic.  I got to the bottom of the stairs as the truck was pulling up.  Instead of my brother in the driver seat, it was my DAD!  He had made the trip with my brother because he knew I needed him.  That visit made all the difference to me.  I cried and cried when they left a few days later, but I had been able to spend some part of my holiday with family - family who love me so much they sacrificed time together to give me a bright day!

How could I not love Christmas with all these wonderful stories?  There are so many more, but these are the stories that make my heart sing...

The Passing of Time

Three years ago today (well, tonight, really), I entered a new phase of my life.  My dear (then) boyfriend at the time took me to have dinner at one of our favorite restaurants - Aodake Sushi & Hibachi.  I believed we were celebrating the fact that we were meeting some of my family the next day at a half-way point so Mom could hand over her truck to me (I had just purchased it from her).

We had a wonderful dinner, and he was being quite silly...after dinner, we went back to my apartment.  With my roommate out for the night, we were simply watching some television.  At one point, though, and I can't be sure of the details on how this happened, we were both standing in the entry hall.  He was being very shmoopy and loving and letting me know how much he loved me and how happy he was.  It went on for several minutes, maybe an hour, and I was blushing and smiling and crying.  He finally swung me around and asked, "Do you want to surprise your family tomorrow?"  I was very confused, since they KNEW we were meeting them.  He dropped to one knee, pulled out the ring that had been in his pocket throughout dinner, and asked me to be his wife.  I was shocked, amazed, and bursting with love and tears...after a few moments, I looked him in the eye and said, "YES!"

We did surprise my family the next day, and we all celebrated.

Three years ago, JR proposed.  So many things have happened since then, and I am looking forward to what happens next.

Super Quick Book List

Rules: Don’t take too long to think about it. List fifteen books you’ve read that will always stick with you. (The first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.)

1. Moby Dick
2. Little Women
3. Beowulf
4. Little House in the Big Woods
5. Bless Me Ultima
6. Catcher in the Rye
7. Gerald's Game
8. Love is Walking Hand in Hand
9. Sense and Sensibility
10. Jane Eyre
11. Moll Flanders
12. Great Expectations
13. The Gregg Reference Manual
14. Heidi
15. The Grapes of Wrath

Thanks to my friend over at little bitty bites for the idea of this post.

Pumpkin Season is Upon Us!

It is September, so I declare the beginning of pumpkin season!

I love pumpkins.  I mean, I really, really love pumpkins.  I am like Bubba with shrimp when I start listing out the pumpkin-related foods I have tried:

pumpkin pie

pumpkin bread

pumpkin muffins

pumpkin pancakes

pumpkin waffles

pumpkin coffee

pumpkin soup

pumpkin cookies

pumpkin cobbler

pumpkin cheesecake

pumpkin ice cream

pumpkin seeds, roasted

pumpkin lasagna

pumpkin spice latte

pumpkin spice hot cocoa

I also love decorating with pumpkins and other fall decor...our wedding had an autumn theme.  For the ceremony, the bride's maids wore rich copper dresses, and their bouquets were deep autumn colors.  The groom's men had coordinating vests/ties.  My dress was ivory with champagne accents, and JR wore a champagne vest and tie.  The flower girls (Autumn Fairies) scattered silk fall leaves instead of flower petals.  The unity candle holder and taper holders had pumpkins in and around them. 

At the reception, we had mini pumpkins and gourds on the tables with silk fall leaves scattered all over.  The table numbers were cut-outs of fall leaves in rich autumn colors, and the bud vases that held the numbers were filled with tiny acrylic pumpkins.  The place card holders were mini pumpkins.  The only thing that was NOT pumpkin- or fall-related was the cake "topper."  We had Superman and Wonder Woman figures for that.  ;-)

This year I vow to try even more pumpkin-flavored treats...and I vow to remember why it is I love pumpkin so much - my husband and I share a love of pumpkin, a love of autumn, and a love of a lifetime.

If You Really Knew Me

I've been watching the MTV show "If You Really Knew Me." Here is part of the description from the Web site:

"Like a reality version of The Breakfast Club, each episode of If You Really Knew Me takes place at a different high school, and follows five students from different cliques as they go through the life-changing experience of Challenge Day, a one-day program that breaks down the walls between cliques, and completely changes the way students view their school and each other. Watch the amazing transformation each week as new students open up for the first time and try to change by revealing who they really are, behind the cliques and the labels. Is it possible to change your life, and maybe even your high school, in one day? These students are going to find out... on If You Really Knew Me."

I've seen the first two episodes, and I am digging it. It makes me nostalgic, it makes me sad, it gives me hope, and it gives me worry.

If something like this had happened in my high school, I am not sure what the outcome would have been. I don't know what clique I would have been assigned to...I called myself a "floater." I could talk to anyone, but at the same time I didn't do a lot of socializing outside of school.

Just for giggles, I thought it would be interested to pose the challenge to you...I'll start.

If you really knew me, you would know that I always thought I was fat in high school. Only after seeing pictures of myself years later did I realize that I was a very healthy size.

If you really knew me, you would know that I always wanted to hang out with people after school and on the weekends but never felt like I belonged.

If you really knew me, you would know that I was excited to go to my ten-year reunion because I was still not married, I had no kids, and I was living 8 hours away...I was excited because I had broken any mold of what people thought I should be.

If you really knew me, you would know that after the ten-year reunion, I felt just as un-cool and un-popular as I did in high school.

What would I really know about you?