So...I haven't actively written for this blog in a while. I have another blog (Sarcastic Thoughts on the Late Train) that sees more action, but this side is for my personal stuff.
Here's something big and personal:
My dad died on Tuesday, August 19, 2014.
He wasn't supposed to die, at least not in my opinion. Clearly, God had a different plan than the rest of us. It was completely sudden and unexpected. He wasn't sick. He was extremely healthy, in fact. When he turned 50, he started going to the doctor often. During one of his checkups, they found pre-cancerous cells that could have led to prostate cancer. Instead, he took aggressive action and beat the cancer before it could beat him. This last Christmas, he shared with the entire family that he was 100% clear of any cancer cells, and his doctor told him he was very healthy for a man his age.
So, then what the what?!? How does a healthy man, only 60 years old, just die? The electricity went out in his heart. It's that simple - cardiac arrest. According to the American Heart Association, "Cardiac arrest is caused when the heart's electrical system malfunctions." It is not the same as a heart attack...he didn't have heart disease.
The medical professionals said he didn't suffer. Okay. Fine. But I still am having a very hard time understanding this. I've used a private journal to write out the memories and the feelings, but now I am ready to announce to the blogging world that my dad died. And I am angry about it. I just don't get it. I'm not ready for my dad to gone. I wasn't finished with him.
I'm not ready to share all those other details about the visitation, seeing him for the first time, the funeral, or the other things that have happened since the moment I found out he died...maybe in time.
For now, the world just should know, James "Jim" Harvey Higham, age 60, died at home the afternoon of August 19, 2014. He is survived by his wife, his four children, three children-in-law, and five grandchildren, as well as two sisters, three brothers-in-law, one sister-in-law, two nieces, and one nephew. He is preceded in death by his parents and two grandchildren.
We all miss him greatly.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Monday, October 25, 2010
What is so special about October 25?
Evidently, more than I realized...
October 25, 2008: I married my husband JR.
October 25, 2004: I went on my first date with JR.
October 25, 2003: I met my friend Tanya for the first time in Red Bank, New Jersey. I also met Kevin Smith, his wife Jen, Jason Mewes, Brian O'Halloran, and several other ViewAskew peeps...
October 25, 2003: Also the day that JR was Man-of-Honor in his friends' wedding (L & D).
I decided to look up any other importance with the day online, and here is a sampling of what I found:
1400 Author Geoffrey Chaucer died in London.
1764 John Adams marries Abigail Smith.
1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place at Balaklava during the Crimean War.
1881Pablo Ruiz Picasso was born.
1939 Nylon stockings go on sale in U.S. for first time.
1962 Author John Steinbeck was awarded the Nobel Prize in literature.
1971 Roy Disney dedicates Walt Disney World.
1982 - The first episode of "Newhart" aired on CBS.
1990 - The 200th episode of "Cheers" aired on NBC.
2001 Microsoft released the Windows XP operating system.
2006 - On the Opra Winfrey show, an interview with Madonna aired.
October 25, 2008: I married my husband JR.
October 25, 2004: I went on my first date with JR.
October 25, 2003: I met my friend Tanya for the first time in Red Bank, New Jersey. I also met Kevin Smith, his wife Jen, Jason Mewes, Brian O'Halloran, and several other ViewAskew peeps...
October 25, 2003: Also the day that JR was Man-of-Honor in his friends' wedding (L & D).
I decided to look up any other importance with the day online, and here is a sampling of what I found:
1400 Author Geoffrey Chaucer died in London.
1764 John Adams marries Abigail Smith.
1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place at Balaklava during the Crimean War.
1881
1939 Nylon stockings go on sale in U.S. for first time.
1962 Author John Steinbeck was awarded the Nobel Prize in literature.
1971 Roy Disney dedicates Walt Disney World.
1982 - The first episode of "Newhart" aired on CBS.
1990 - The 200th episode of "Cheers" aired on NBC.
2001 Microsoft released the Windows XP operating system.
2006 - On the Opra Winfrey show, an interview with Madonna aired.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The Passing of Time
Three years ago today (well, tonight, really), I entered a new phase of my life. My dear (then) boyfriend at the time took me to have dinner at one of our favorite restaurants - Aodake Sushi & Hibachi. I believed we were celebrating the fact that we were meeting some of my family the next day at a half-way point so Mom could hand over her truck to me (I had just purchased it from her).
We had a wonderful dinner, and he was being quite silly...after dinner, we went back to my apartment. With my roommate out for the night, we were simply watching some television. At one point, though, and I can't be sure of the details on how this happened, we were both standing in the entry hall. He was being very shmoopy and loving and letting me know how much he loved me and how happy he was. It went on for several minutes, maybe an hour, and I was blushing and smiling and crying. He finally swung me around and asked, "Do you want to surprise your family tomorrow?" I was very confused, since they KNEW we were meeting them. He dropped to one knee, pulled out the ring that had been in his pocket throughout dinner, and asked me to be his wife. I was shocked, amazed, and bursting with love and tears...after a few moments, I looked him in the eye and said, "YES!"
We did surprise my family the next day, and we all celebrated.
Three years ago, JR proposed. So many things have happened since then, and I am looking forward to what happens next.
We had a wonderful dinner, and he was being quite silly...after dinner, we went back to my apartment. With my roommate out for the night, we were simply watching some television. At one point, though, and I can't be sure of the details on how this happened, we were both standing in the entry hall. He was being very shmoopy and loving and letting me know how much he loved me and how happy he was. It went on for several minutes, maybe an hour, and I was blushing and smiling and crying. He finally swung me around and asked, "Do you want to surprise your family tomorrow?" I was very confused, since they KNEW we were meeting them. He dropped to one knee, pulled out the ring that had been in his pocket throughout dinner, and asked me to be his wife. I was shocked, amazed, and bursting with love and tears...after a few moments, I looked him in the eye and said, "YES!"
We did surprise my family the next day, and we all celebrated.
Three years ago, JR proposed. So many things have happened since then, and I am looking forward to what happens next.
Monday, July 19, 2010
The Rooms in My House
I think that each room in my house represents a different part of my self. Now that the house is cleaned, organized, and mostly decorated, here's my self-analysis.
The master bedroom: My subconscious, my heart, my romanticism. I share this room completely with my husband. We are intertwined in this room. It is the place I feel safe. It is the place we share all our secrets. It is the room in which our souls combine during our sleep...I love this room.
The guest room (aka "Dee's Room"): My past, my need to hold onto my childhood and my roots, my get-away. I decorated this room in a sort-of country-girl chic. Pastel greens with pink- and rose-colored accents. A very girly "shabby chic" bed linen set, stuffed animals, ballet art work, candles, and dried flower bouquets everywhere. My antique sewing machine table, with my new model sewing machine, and a closet of gifts, wrapping paper, and gift bags Martha Stewart would be proud of. I've always wanted a room like this. I feel it makes me closer to my baby sister because she has a room like this, and she calls it my room. Yes, I have my own room in my sister's house in Tennessee. Now she has her own room in my house in Illinois.
The master bathroom: My solace. My thinking place. My planning place. I like the simplicity of this room. Whites with lavender accents. I ponder life in the steam of the shower. I refresh my body and mind. I recharge myself here.
The kitchen: My comfort, my warm fuzzy, my life. I love to bake. An entire section of cabinets is dedicated to that love. I feed more than my stomach in this room. JR and I share breakfast and conversation in this room. It is a great room for casual conversation over a cup of tea. A radio in the corner allows me to sing and dance like nobody is watching (even if they are) while I cook, bake, and clean.
The "Great Room": This is a room in progress. It will be the ever-changing room, I can feel it. Currently, it is a fabulous wide-open room with many comfortable seating choices. A set of bookshelves in a corner offers visitors a myriad of reading materials, each section offering a peek into my and my husband's hobbies and interests (an entire section of writing manuals, another of comic books, another of antique collectible books, and yet another of mystery novels, to name only a few). With a fireplace, I am sure this room will provide a great place to have a wonderful visit with friends, sharing a glass of wine and a vivacious discussion. In the future, this room will transform...into what is the unanswered question.
The downstairs bathroom: The place where all life's problems end up. Currently, according to the downstairs bathroom, life has no problems. Over the last few months, life was ankle deep in poop. Now, everything is working well again.
The basement: The fun, the entertainment, the togetherness. This is the most-used room in the house. This is where we laugh during comedies, cry during love stories, hide under the covers during horror fests, and work our butts off to video games. This is the room where the board games are pulled out and played till exhaustion sets in. This is the "family" room.
The laundry room: The room where the cleaning happens. Therapy takes place during the laundry process. Life is sorted out, and all the bad stuff from the week is washed away (including the inevitable food stains on my shirts). I am so happy to finally have this room!
The office/my closet: This is the secret room. The room nobody is allowed to see. The mess. The boxes. The clutter. The clothes and shoes and shoes and shoes. The computer is in there somewhere. Despite it serving as my closet, my husband spends more time in the office than I do. He kills zombies on the computer into the wee hours. This room holds his solace and relaxation.
The patio: The "ahhhh" place. Where we go to rest after yard work. Where we make the neighbors hungry from the wonderful aromas of the grill. Where JR's pet Zombie "Morty" lives with his pet lizard "Lexie." (I'll update this with pictures, I promise.)
The garage: The holder of things we don't know what to do with...for now. That's all I'm saying.
Every room is important to the whole of the house...Every piece represents a different part of our lives...I love my house, and I love my life.
The master bedroom: My subconscious, my heart, my romanticism. I share this room completely with my husband. We are intertwined in this room. It is the place I feel safe. It is the place we share all our secrets. It is the room in which our souls combine during our sleep...I love this room.
The guest room (aka "Dee's Room"): My past, my need to hold onto my childhood and my roots, my get-away. I decorated this room in a sort-of country-girl chic. Pastel greens with pink- and rose-colored accents. A very girly "shabby chic" bed linen set, stuffed animals, ballet art work, candles, and dried flower bouquets everywhere. My antique sewing machine table, with my new model sewing machine, and a closet of gifts, wrapping paper, and gift bags Martha Stewart would be proud of. I've always wanted a room like this. I feel it makes me closer to my baby sister because she has a room like this, and she calls it my room. Yes, I have my own room in my sister's house in Tennessee. Now she has her own room in my house in Illinois.
The master bathroom: My solace. My thinking place. My planning place. I like the simplicity of this room. Whites with lavender accents. I ponder life in the steam of the shower. I refresh my body and mind. I recharge myself here.
The kitchen: My comfort, my warm fuzzy, my life. I love to bake. An entire section of cabinets is dedicated to that love. I feed more than my stomach in this room. JR and I share breakfast and conversation in this room. It is a great room for casual conversation over a cup of tea. A radio in the corner allows me to sing and dance like nobody is watching (even if they are) while I cook, bake, and clean.
The "Great Room": This is a room in progress. It will be the ever-changing room, I can feel it. Currently, it is a fabulous wide-open room with many comfortable seating choices. A set of bookshelves in a corner offers visitors a myriad of reading materials, each section offering a peek into my and my husband's hobbies and interests (an entire section of writing manuals, another of comic books, another of antique collectible books, and yet another of mystery novels, to name only a few). With a fireplace, I am sure this room will provide a great place to have a wonderful visit with friends, sharing a glass of wine and a vivacious discussion. In the future, this room will transform...into what is the unanswered question.
The downstairs bathroom: The place where all life's problems end up. Currently, according to the downstairs bathroom, life has no problems. Over the last few months, life was ankle deep in poop. Now, everything is working well again.
The basement: The fun, the entertainment, the togetherness. This is the most-used room in the house. This is where we laugh during comedies, cry during love stories, hide under the covers during horror fests, and work our butts off to video games. This is the room where the board games are pulled out and played till exhaustion sets in. This is the "family" room.
The laundry room: The room where the cleaning happens. Therapy takes place during the laundry process. Life is sorted out, and all the bad stuff from the week is washed away (including the inevitable food stains on my shirts). I am so happy to finally have this room!
The office/my closet: This is the secret room. The room nobody is allowed to see. The mess. The boxes. The clutter. The clothes and shoes and shoes and shoes. The computer is in there somewhere. Despite it serving as my closet, my husband spends more time in the office than I do. He kills zombies on the computer into the wee hours. This room holds his solace and relaxation.
The patio: The "ahhhh" place. Where we go to rest after yard work. Where we make the neighbors hungry from the wonderful aromas of the grill. Where JR's pet Zombie "Morty" lives with his pet lizard "Lexie." (I'll update this with pictures, I promise.)
The garage: The holder of things we don't know what to do with...for now. That's all I'm saying.
Every room is important to the whole of the house...Every piece represents a different part of our lives...I love my house, and I love my life.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Measurement of Success
With less than 24 hours to go before our first big party in our new house, I walked in the door at 6:30pm Friday night to see that I still had a lot of work to do before a party could be had. A. LOT.
I dug in, and by 1:30am, I was ready for bed. After a shower. The great room (with all the boxes still piled up) was completely unpacked, organized, and decorated. The bedrooms were clean. The basement was clean, and the kitchen was getting there...
I woke up Saturday morning at 7:30 and sprayed some weeds to get my blood pumping. After an awesome bad-for-me breakfast supplied by my sweet husband, we started up again...Made the bed, cleaned up the clothes, scrubbed down the kitchen, vacuumed the basement, sanitized the bathrooms, and swept and Swiffer-wet-jetted the floors.
With one hour till the party, JR was finishing up the shopping and I was jumping into the shower...the first guests arrived promptly at 2:00pm while JR was showering.
People came and went all night - lots of great food, great drinks, great conversation, and many compliments on the house. We feel very lucky to have such great friends and family who could come share the fun of a new house with us.
The success of our housewarming party was measured in the smiles on faces, the hugs and laughter, the conversation always moving, and the completely relaxed feeling I have today as I clean up from all the fun...
For TGJ: I DID do it! Thanks for the motivation, as always!
Woot! When can we have another party???
I dug in, and by 1:30am, I was ready for bed. After a shower. The great room (with all the boxes still piled up) was completely unpacked, organized, and decorated. The bedrooms were clean. The basement was clean, and the kitchen was getting there...
I woke up Saturday morning at 7:30 and sprayed some weeds to get my blood pumping. After an awesome bad-for-me breakfast supplied by my sweet husband, we started up again...Made the bed, cleaned up the clothes, scrubbed down the kitchen, vacuumed the basement, sanitized the bathrooms, and swept and Swiffer-wet-jetted the floors.
With one hour till the party, JR was finishing up the shopping and I was jumping into the shower...the first guests arrived promptly at 2:00pm while JR was showering.
People came and went all night - lots of great food, great drinks, great conversation, and many compliments on the house. We feel very lucky to have such great friends and family who could come share the fun of a new house with us.
The success of our housewarming party was measured in the smiles on faces, the hugs and laughter, the conversation always moving, and the completely relaxed feeling I have today as I clean up from all the fun...
For TGJ: I DID do it! Thanks for the motivation, as always!
Woot! When can we have another party???
Friday, July 2, 2010
A Poem
May
Your
Days
Always
Dawn
Happily
And
Serenely.
Cherish
All
New
Challenges,
Ever
Ready.
-------------------
I wrote that poem on August 26, 2009. The day after I found out my dad had prostate cancer. The first letter of every word, reading down, was my inspiration for the poem.
My dad has always been a very healthy man. He worked a full-time,manual-labor job for 35 years. He worked on his farm and yard in his "spare" time. He drank a lot of water and no booze. He like ice cream and candy and salty foods, and those were his only weaknesses as far as I remember.
He started going to the doctor in his late 40's/early 50's for regular "I'm not getting any younger" visits. He had a physical, and he did learn he needed to cut down on salt...his sugars, however, were fine. Go figure. The man eats ice cream and candy like it's going out of style, and his sugars are normal. I wish I could say that. His blood pressure was a bit out of whack, but he is treating it medication and seems to be controlled. He goes in for his regular visits, and his visit last fall showed something a little not normal.
Your
Days
Always
Dawn
Happily
And
Serenely.
Cherish
All
New
Challenges,
Ever
Ready.
-------------------
I wrote that poem on August 26, 2009. The day after I found out my dad had prostate cancer. The first letter of every word, reading down, was my inspiration for the poem.
My dad has always been a very healthy man. He worked a full-time,manual-labor job for 35 years. He worked on his farm and yard in his "spare" time. He drank a lot of water and no booze. He like ice cream and candy and salty foods, and those were his only weaknesses as far as I remember.
He started going to the doctor in his late 40's/early 50's for regular "I'm not getting any younger" visits. He had a physical, and he did learn he needed to cut down on salt...his sugars, however, were fine. Go figure. The man eats ice cream and candy like it's going out of style, and his sugars are normal. I wish I could say that. His blood pressure was a bit out of whack, but he is treating it medication and seems to be controlled. He goes in for his regular visits, and his visit last fall showed something a little not normal.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Thirty-five years...
Wow. I remember when my dad turned 30. He had a wife, four kids, a house, two cars, and a career in a tire factory... He felt old, and my mom threw him a surprise party to which all the guests brought gag gifts like denture cream and "old people" vitamins and such...I thought it was so funny 'cause "Daddy was old!" Yep.
When I turned 30 five years ago, the memory of dad's birthday was bittersweet. I realized my dad was NOT old when he turned 30. He's not old now! I realized that I was still in an apartment, not married, no kids...but I had a college degree and a office-job career. My dad celebrated his 30th birthday with friends and family at our house; I celebrated my 30th birthday on Bourbon Street in NOLA with my boyfriend (now husband).
I've come a long way in 35 years...and I still have a long way to go.
Here's to all the 35-year-old girls who just aren't ready to be grown-ups yet...
When I turned 30 five years ago, the memory of dad's birthday was bittersweet. I realized my dad was NOT old when he turned 30. He's not old now! I realized that I was still in an apartment, not married, no kids...but I had a college degree and a office-job career. My dad celebrated his 30th birthday with friends and family at our house; I celebrated my 30th birthday on Bourbon Street in NOLA with my boyfriend (now husband).
I've come a long way in 35 years...and I still have a long way to go.
Here's to all the 35-year-old girls who just aren't ready to be grown-ups yet...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)