It's Been a While...

So...I haven't actively written for this blog in a while. I have another blog (Sarcastic Thoughts on the Late Train) that sees more action, but this side is for my personal stuff.

Here's something big and personal:
My dad died on Tuesday, August 19, 2014.

He wasn't supposed to die, at least not in my opinion. Clearly, God had a different plan than the rest of us. It was completely sudden and unexpected. He wasn't sick. He was extremely healthy, in fact. When he turned 50, he started going to the doctor often. During one of his checkups, they found pre-cancerous cells that could have led to prostate cancer. Instead, he took aggressive action and beat the cancer before it could beat him. This last Christmas, he shared with the entire family that he was 100% clear of any cancer cells, and his doctor told him he was very healthy for a man his age.

So, then what the what?!? How does a healthy man, only 60 years old, just die? The electricity went out in his heart. It's that simple - cardiac arrest.  According to the American Heart Association, "Cardiac arrest is caused when the heart's electrical system malfunctions." It is not the same as a heart attack...he didn't have heart disease.

The medical professionals said he didn't suffer. Okay. Fine. But I still am having a very hard time understanding this.  I've used a private journal to write out the memories and the feelings, but now I am ready to announce to the blogging world that my dad died. And I am angry about it. I just don't get it. I'm not ready for my dad to gone. I wasn't finished with him.

I'm not ready to share all those other details about the visitation, seeing him for the first time, the funeral, or the other things that have happened since the moment I found out he died...maybe in time.

For now, the world just should know, James "Jim" Harvey Higham, age 60, died at home the afternoon of August 19, 2014. He is survived by his wife, his four children, three children-in-law, and five grandchildren, as well as two sisters, three brothers-in-law, one sister-in-law, two nieces, and one nephew. He is preceded in death by his parents and two grandchildren.

We all miss him greatly.

MY favorite Christmas Stories

So, I happen to know Santa Claus.  He's a pretty cool guy.  He's done some amazing things over the years, and I'd like to share some of them with you.

Kindergarten Christmas in Recovery:
This is not as bad as it sounds.  The year I was in kindergarten, I had tonsillitis.  A lot.  So, I had to have the darn things taken out.  Before Christmas break.  Before the holiday party.  In kindergarten.  I was bummed!  However, in the present exchange, the person who drew my name gave me a coloring book and crayons to have with me in the hospital during my recovery.  It was awesome.  I know that Santa had a hand in making sure my Christmas was wonderful that year.

Christmas in June:
Santa is around all the time, not just at Christmas. One year for my birthday in June, I had one of the most wonderful Christmas experiences a girl with a summer birthday could have – Christmas dinner in June. In Florida. In a restaurant decorated for Christmas all year long. It was a place called The Paw Paw Tree, and my grandfather Higham made a big to-do about it. I was smiling ear-to-ear the entire meal. We had turkey and ham and stuffing and mashed potatoes and pie and apple cider...it was amazing! Since I almost never spent a Christmas with Grandpa Higham, it was a true blessing. That was Santa’s way of reminding all of us that love of family is important.

Santa knows WHERE you are for Christmas:
Santa can find you if he needs to.  One year we were going to be traveling to Ohio to visit my grandparents, and we were worried that Santa wouldn't be able to get us our presents.  We wrote him a letter to let him know, and he came through!  While we were at Sunday School and Church the day before our trip, Santa dropped off our presents early so we could enjoy our family Christmas.

Similarly, another year, Santa managed to find us AT our grandparents' house.  He even managed to put out all the presents under the tree in the living room WHERE WE WERE SLEEPING. Amazing.


Santa sends you what you need, even if it is far away:
I was let go from a job, for the very first time in my life, on December 11, 2007.  I had just financed a vehicle and been proposed to in September that year.  I was planning a wedding, and a future, with JR, and I had no idea if any of it was going to work out.  I was devastated.  I talked with my family often during that time, and my kid brother, with whom I have always had (and will always have) a close, special, different relationship than my sisters, said he would drive up on Christmas day with his daughter Courtney so I could be with family at Christmas.  I was so touched, and excited, and weepy... It's quite a haul from NW Tennessee to Chicagoland...especially in December.  It was late and cold and dark when my brother called to let me know he was close by.  I talked him through the winding road back to my apartment, and I ran down the stairs to grab my brother and niece in a big hug.  What happened instead is pure Christmas magic.  I got to the bottom of the stairs as the truck was pulling up.  Instead of my brother in the driver seat, it was my DAD!  He had made the trip with my brother because he knew I needed him.  That visit made all the difference to me.  I cried and cried when they left a few days later, but I had been able to spend some part of my holiday with family - family who love me so much they sacrificed time together to give me a bright day!

How could I not love Christmas with all these wonderful stories?  There are so many more, but these are the stories that make my heart sing...

What is so special about October 25?

Evidently, more than I realized...

October 25, 2008: I married my husband JR.

October 25, 2004: I went on my first date with JR.

October 25, 2003: I met my friend Tanya for the first time in Red Bank, New Jersey.  I also met Kevin Smith, his wife Jen, Jason Mewes, Brian O'Halloran, and several other ViewAskew peeps...

October 25, 2003: Also the day that JR was Man-of-Honor in his friends' wedding (L & D).

I decided to look up any other importance with the day online, and here is a sampling of what I found:

1400 Author Geoffrey Chaucer died in London.

1764 John Adams marries Abigail Smith.

1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place at Balaklava during the Crimean War.
 
1881 Pablo Ruiz Picasso was born.
 
1939 Nylon stockings go on sale in U.S. for first time.
 
1962 Author John Steinbeck was awarded the Nobel Prize in literature.
 
1971 Roy Disney dedicates Walt Disney World.
 
1982 - The first episode of "Newhart" aired on CBS.
 
1990 - The 200th episode of "Cheers" aired on NBC.
 
2001 Microsoft released the Windows XP operating system.
 
2006 - On the Opra Winfrey show, an interview with Madonna aired.

The Passing of Time

Three years ago today (well, tonight, really), I entered a new phase of my life.  My dear (then) boyfriend at the time took me to have dinner at one of our favorite restaurants - Aodake Sushi & Hibachi.  I believed we were celebrating the fact that we were meeting some of my family the next day at a half-way point so Mom could hand over her truck to me (I had just purchased it from her).

We had a wonderful dinner, and he was being quite silly...after dinner, we went back to my apartment.  With my roommate out for the night, we were simply watching some television.  At one point, though, and I can't be sure of the details on how this happened, we were both standing in the entry hall.  He was being very shmoopy and loving and letting me know how much he loved me and how happy he was.  It went on for several minutes, maybe an hour, and I was blushing and smiling and crying.  He finally swung me around and asked, "Do you want to surprise your family tomorrow?"  I was very confused, since they KNEW we were meeting them.  He dropped to one knee, pulled out the ring that had been in his pocket throughout dinner, and asked me to be his wife.  I was shocked, amazed, and bursting with love and tears...after a few moments, I looked him in the eye and said, "YES!"

We did surprise my family the next day, and we all celebrated.

Three years ago, JR proposed.  So many things have happened since then, and I am looking forward to what happens next.

Cake!

So, I don't think it's a big shock that I LOVE cupcakes...and honestly, I am not picky.  I am very happy with the 6 yellow cupcakes with butter cream frosting I can get at the grocery store...especially on Friday when they are offered at the reduced price of $2.22. Now, I do prefer if I can get a mixed pack of 3 yellow and 3 chocolate, but I'll still settle for the 6 yellow.

As much as I love eating cupcakes, I love decorating cakes even more.  I am by no means a professional, but I have been decorating cakes since I was young, learning tricks and techniques from my grandma and my mom.  I decorated a sheet cake to look like a folded western shirt for Father's Day when I was 12.  I carved and decorated cake to look like a giant glazed donut in my 20s.  I made a birthday cake in the shape of a beer mug for my father-in-law a few years ago.  I've even made some, ahem, bachelorette party cakes...  I've made countless bunny-face cakes for Easter, and tons of heart-shaped cakes for Valentines' Day (none from shaped molds). 
About a year and a half ago, my dear friends Lee Ann and Jeremy were expecting a baby for the first time.  While shopping with Lee Ann at one of our favorites stores (JoAnn's), we saw a Wilton Cake Decorating Toolbox (with 101 tools) on sale.  And Lee Ann had a coupon.  And she really thought I should get it so I could start really getting into cake decorating.  Especially since she had a baby shower coming up...I was roped in, and I thank her for that every time I make a great cake.

The first cake I made for public consumption after this purchase was, indeed, the baby shower cake.  I had an idea in my head of a bear on blocks and all kinds of fanciness...then I got nervous and decided to go with something a little simpler for my first attempt at using fondant on a cake...

The base and paci are cake covered in fondant; the paci handle is molded chocolate.

The result was a pacifier cake, and I was very proud of it.  I could see every tiny imperfection, of course, but I was still happy.  Luckily, my mom had made many, many things out of Candy Melts white chocolate while I was growing up, so the handle was easy enough to do.  The round ball was a cake mold and maybe a little more advanced than I should have tried for my first attempt at fondant.  Everyone was happy with it, and it tasted good.  Score!

I have made a few other cakes in the last year, but nothing too exquisite... until yesterday.  I made the birthday cake for our now one-year old Goddaughter - Jeremy and Lee Ann's little girl.  Lee Ann told me "ladybug theme."  I've been looking at photos of cakes online for the last several months.  I found one that fit what I was thinking of doing, and here is what I ended up with.



Ladybug cake!  It's all cake and fondant!



A close up of the topper.

The "smash cake" just for Analee to enjoy (and make into mush and get all over herself.

A ladybug on top of a two-layer cake.  Everything was cake, including the ladybug body and head.  I started with all white fondant and colored it myself.  The green border and grass is butter cream frosting.  The smaller flower "smash cake" was covered in butter cream with a fondant ladybug accent.

I am very proud of this cake.  I only cringed a little when Lee Ann made the first cut...then, we all enjoyed eating the cake, especially Analee:

Analee elbow-deep in her cake!

A Perfect Thank You / A Night of Reflection

(Copyrighted Image)

My husband, as a thank you for my taking care of him this past week while he has been sick, took me out for sushi and a movie.  He told me the movie was a surprise, and I was honestly scared.  This man once took me to see a "surprise" movie that ended up being Paranormal Activity.  It scared me so much that I was sitting on the edge of the seat rocking back and forth.

This, however, was a wonderful surprise.  After reading one of my recent blogs and its comments, my husband decided to thank me for taking care of him by treating me to a movie I wanted to see...along with about 50 school-age girls and their mothers.  He took me to see Ramona and Beezus.

My heart was overflowing - he had done something wonderful for me, and I felt like it was more than enough to thank me for my taking care of him while he was sick - I feel like that is my responsibility.  His appreciation was awesome.

The movie was wonderful.  All at once, it made me happy to be a wife, a daughter, a sister, and an aunt.

I am Dorothy Quimby (Ramona's mom) - the wife who tries to hold it all together and be supportive even in tough situations, who loves her family very much and tries to take things in stride.

I am Ramona - the daughter who always felt like she was just a clumsy mess, getting in the way of everything, and believing the rest of the family would be better off without her...I learned, over time, that I was an important part of the family, and we all were better because of each other.

I am Beezus - the oldest sister who had to be a grown-up sometimes while she was still young, the sister who had to put up with the annoyances of younger siblings, but who still loved them with her whole heart and would do anything to ensure their happiness.

I am Aunt Bea - the aunt who lets my nieces know that I believe they each hung the moon, who takes each one on a special outing alone, and who takes them all out together whenever I can.  I am the aunt who teaches them the lessons their parents try to teach them by phrasing things the way I know they understand (and they will listen, because I am not their mother).

I laughed and cried and cried and laughed throughout the movie.  It brought back the memories of the Ramona books for me, and the memories of my childhood with my younger siblings...

Go see this movie.  You will not regret it.

Super Quick Book List

Rules: Don’t take too long to think about it. List fifteen books you’ve read that will always stick with you. (The first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.)

1. Moby Dick
2. Little Women
3. Beowulf
4. Little House in the Big Woods
5. Bless Me Ultima
6. Catcher in the Rye
7. Gerald's Game
8. Love is Walking Hand in Hand
9. Sense and Sensibility
10. Jane Eyre
11. Moll Flanders
12. Great Expectations
13. The Gregg Reference Manual
14. Heidi
15. The Grapes of Wrath

Thanks to my friend over at little bitty bites for the idea of this post.