Sisters

Today's storm has led my brain into one of those train-of-consciousness-type nostalgia sessions...

It begins with my trip to the Wilton Tent Sale with my baby sister Deanna last weekend...we had breakfast with our husbands, her daughter, and our brother's daughter at McDonald's. She and I walked over to the tent sale while the boys took the girls to the park. We had such a great time walking up and down the aisles and picking out things we loved or needed or really, really wanted...It was great to spend time with my sister in that way: as adults, as friends, with such a relaxed agenda.

As we approached checkout, the bottom fell out of the sky. It was pouring, and we had left the car at McDonald's--all the way across the big Wilton parking lot...so, we wrapped up our purchases in the big plastic garbage bags they gave us, and we started out. We didn't run. We didn't scream. We laughed. We laughed HARD. We stomped in a couple of puddles. We smiled so big it hurt our faces. We had a great time walking in the rain, arm in arm, as sisters and friends. We felt like kids again. We both said aloud how lucky we felt to be spending this time together since we are so far apart geographically.

A turn in my memory lane led me to hunkering down in the middle hallway of my parents' home during a heavy storm with my middle sister Teresa when we were teenagers. We were at home alone, and when the storm started we completely freaked out. We thought for sure a tornado was going to come rip the house off the foundation and send us flying. We were holding hands, and we had written a "if you find us" note (I have never claimed to NOT be dramatic...). We can laugh about it now, but it was one of the few times --ever-- that I've spent that kind of quality time with Teresa.

Deanna and I were fast friends as children. She is almost six years younger than me, and she clung onto me with all her might as a kid. We hit a rough patch when I left for college, wide-eyed and ready to meet the world head-on. She felt abandoned, and I had no idea...years later, as she was starting her marriage and I was settling into Chicago as my long-term home, we grew closer again. She's my first best friend. I cherish her, and I am so happy that we can still laugh in the rain together.

Teresa and I were constant competitors. She is almost two years younger than me, and she was always held up to a standard by others that I didn't even know I had set...I ached for her to appreciate the things I did as the older sister. I wanted to be friends with her and be able to hang out with her. She wanted little to nothing to do with me. I tried so hard for so very long to develop a relationship with her. I still put forth an effort, but I know I've given up some hope. I love her dearly, but I feel lost when I try to put into words what our relationship is or should be.

I know other sisters who have long-distance friendships, who have strained relationships, who have come back into the lives of each other, who have not spoken in years... I know of sisters in pain because they cannot be together.

Let me tell you something: Nobody is ever going to know you as well as the sister you grew up with. Nobody else is going to know the perfect thing to say to make it all better and to make it all come crashing down. Nobody else will be able to have an entire conversation with you that nobody else can even begin to comprehend, whether it's facial gestures, nonsensical words, or a specific giggle. Nobody else can make you feel like dirt and just as quickly make you feel like the queen of the universe (or co-queen, anyway).



Love your sisters. If you don't have biological sisters, love your sister-friends.